I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
