The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Its about making memories worth repressing
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize