Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
