mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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