Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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