Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
