I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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