dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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