There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize