Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
