you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
These tits shall not be calmed
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night I used snow as a chaser
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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