dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
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I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
we're so committed to being not committed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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