I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I want her autograph on my taint
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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