And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
