Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
