We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
there is glitter all over my balls
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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