i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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