I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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