Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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