he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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