i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize