My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
