So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
