He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we're making bets on your personal life
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
