I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
