hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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