I am puke
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
