he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
