My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize