Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
