it hurts more in the daytime
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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