I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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