You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
