ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
