It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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