I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
