I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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