What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
