"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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