Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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