Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Its about making memories worth repressing
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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