I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
