I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
