dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize