Already got asked if we're dating
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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