I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
