who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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