wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
