Apparently you make a good broom.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There r osticjed everywhere
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
