the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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