how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
