dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
