He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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