I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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