She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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