Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize