thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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