He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
