I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
