Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize