Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
