You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
