That's intense
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
