Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
