So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
