remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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