She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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