i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
