So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
