and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
