So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
