bring money and cleavage
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
