What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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